Right now, my mind is filled with shoulds. That is, all the this I think I should be doing. I keep thinking things like:
I should be updating my website.
I should be pulling weeds in the garden.
I should be cleaning my floors and my baseboards and my bathroom and the tiles.
I should, I should, I should…
I find myself adding more and more to my list of shoulds, increasing my anxiety and the self-imposed pressure that I am never far from. All the while, my body has been begging me for weeks to STOP. To slow down. To fall into winter’s natural pace.
It is no longer summer, full of abundance and bright, warm days where the light feels endless as does my energy. It is now cool and dark and the air feels still as flora and fauna of all kinds begin to hunker down and hibernate. Even our three cats natural rhythms have begun to shift as they indulge in more food, sleep more frequently, and puff out their fluffy winter coats. So why haven’t I followed suit?
Instead of focusing on all that I feel I should be doing, I want to begin to redirect my attention to those things that feel most nourishing. The things that will sooth my mind and my body, which seems most appropriate given that—after months of physical therapy helping to eradicate my pain—my chronic pain has actually returned. It’s not nearly to the level that it was at the start of this year, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t on its way there now.
Way back in the summer, I had talked about a list of non-negotiables I’d begun building into my daily routine in this newsletter. (Ironically, this summer newsletter was all about my efforts to slow down. It seems this has become a recurring theme for me as I find myself wandering off track constantly.) This list consisted of various items that were helping me to remain vibrant, happy, and level-headed as well as pain-free. But since the rush of the holidays has begun, I’ve found myself losing items from my list, bit by bit.
Well, no longer! Today, I sat down and began drafting a new list of non-negotiables for this winter season. A task I now realize may be one I need to revisit often in order to check in with myself and see whether I have veered too far off my own path.
My new list of non-negotiables now includes:
Stretching at least 2x per day (to aid in my chronic pain)
Drinking plenty of water/ herbal tea
Resting as often as I feel necessary
Morning pages (these always help my day start off feeling light!)
Carving out time to create wholesome, simple meals
Walking/ Biking daily
Moving through my day more intentionally and refusing to rush through tasks
Keeping my daily goals/ tasks small and manageable, using @elisejoy’s 3 things list
The biggest item on my non-negotiable list, however, would have to be letting go of whatever didn’t get done at the end of the day knowing that my list will never technically end and that’s okay. Who wants a fully completed to-do list. There’d be nothing left to look forward to if all our to-do lists' were finally completed! So why are we all constantly rushing to check every. last. thing. off of our lists?
Novel News
Speaking of shoulds, I have a lot of those revolving around my novel and all that I feel should be doing to promote it, get it out into the world, shout from the rooftops about how AMAZING it is. Just thinking about my list of shoulds has me feeling worn out before I’ve even begun checking off any items.
A friend even suggested that—as much as she hated it for me—I should be on TikTok because that is where new books get discovered at a rapid pace. But none of the pushing feels right to me. A Daisy in Lily’s Valley (ADILV) is a quiet novel with limited chaos. There is conflict, to be sure, but it’s not the kind you might find in a fantasy where there is a new life or death scenario at every turn of the page. And the idea of being on TikTok or constantly on any social media site promoting the book doesn’t feel like a good fit. At least for me.
Right now, my gut tells me that a more organic approach is the right fit for myself and the characters of the book. I truly believe that Emiliana’s story will find its way into the right hands and right hearts when the timing is exactly right. Her story will spread and grow, maybe a slower pace, but that’s alright. In fact, that’s perfect. Em is a quiet girl with a quiet story meant to reach people in a quiet way.
Weekly Excerpt
Shoulds appear a lot throughout the course of Emiliana’s journey as she struggles between what it is she would like to do with her days and the little voice inside her head constantly telling her that she should always be productive. Sound familiar?
Don’t forget to add A Daisy in Lily’s Valley to your reading list on Goodreads! There are currently 22 people who are excited to read my debut novel—thank you 💛.
Tiny win of the week
This past Sunday I babysat my best friend’s toddler and had the most fun! For the few hours I spent watching Disney movies with her (why did no one warn me how emotional the ending of Encanto was going to be? I am forever wrecked.) I wasn’t worried about where I felt I should be or what else I could be doing with my time. I simply enjoyed the few hours we were able to spend together running around with stuffed toys and dancing to all the pop-y music in Turning Red.
Kids have the uncanny ability to bring adults back to the present, allowing us the opportunity to act like kids, ourselves. It’s a beautiful gift to be given, and I cannot thank my friend’s daughter enough for all the high-squealed giggles she helped to elicit as I chased her around the house or endlessly swung her around upside-down (her favorite past time).
Until next time,
Brittani
A portion of November’s paid subscriptions will be donated to Second Helpings Atlanta.
|| Instagram||
|| YouTube ||
|| Website ||
|| Email : brittani@untitledthoughts.com ||
"Who wants a fully completed to-do list. There’d be nothing left to look forward to if all our to-do lists' were finally completed!"
Right?? I'm always trying to remind myself of this! It was so good to be reminded of it here again. Lovely piece this week, as usual! And also, I LOVE Encanto, and I cannot--CANNOT--listen to Dos Oruguitas without bursting into ugly crying.