I know I have written loads on the constant pressure I feel (and I am sure many of you feel) on doing, doing, doing. I think that as long as I am alive, I will circle back, time and again, to this topic. It’s a topic I constantly find myself butting up against. Sometimes I feel as if I have conquered the problem only for it to rear its head and sink it’s teeth into me further, snarling at me for ever casting it aside.
Even though the productivity monster has had me within its grips recently, demanding that I do more, be more, accomplish more more more for its insatiable appetite, I’ve found a quiet ability in letting little things go. Not all the time, but here and there, I have found that I can both satisfy myself and stroke the monster’s ego enough that it quiets and loosens its grip a fraction.
This past Saturday, I spent my morning chatting with a friend. This friend and I meet up once a month over FaceTime and easily spend 3 hours talking about any and everything. It’s always wonderful and fulfilling for me, but not to my productivity monster who would much rather I be getting things done like dishes or laundry or painting the baseboards like I said I’d do years ago. I never give in, though, because this time with my friend is sacred and always fills my cup. My monster has begrudgingly resigned and no longer bothers me with guilt during these monthly calls, but oh, is it ready and waiting as soon as I am done to tell me—event hough it’s Saturday—that now is the time to go, go, go.
This particular weekend, however, my partner and I decided to drive twenty minutes out to pick up gyros. Generally this would send me into a bit of an anxiety spin, seeing how much time was being wasted driving then eating then driving back, but I soothed the monster inside by dropping off a package that needed shipping while we were out. When we finally arrived back home, satiated from the best gyros I’ve ever had, I felt absolutely knackered. So I crawled back into bed and took a nap. With zero guilt.
I then woke up, turned on Grace and Frankie, one of my favorite shows (I so want to be Frankie when I grow up!). I didn’t immediately dive back into working or anything of the sort. Instead, I eased myself back to reality. I let my body dictate what it was I needed, and then—only when I was ready—did I dive into doing some light work, while still in bed. In allowing myself to go with the flow and only tackle what I felt up to doing I actually wound up getting more done that I had planned, all while relaxed and at ease! I had satisfied both myself and my productivity monster in one fell swoop, and in doing so, I showed my monster that constantly pushing doesn’t always get the best results.
After my day had wound to a close, I texted the friend I had FaceTimed earlier because we had been chatting about the never-ending guilt we feel whenever we loosen the reigns and *gasp* enjoy our lives, if only for a moment. We discusses where this guilt might stem from (childhood trauma/ shame/ a fear of being seen as lazy/ a fear of getting into trouble/ feeling like a bad person) and how freeing it is to fall into a state of flow while allowing out bodies to dictate what we should or shouldn’t do at any given moment based on our individual energy levels. We talked about how much we wish to transform into Frankie (Seriously, she is amazing, forgetfulness and all!) and how we could possibly get from point A—guilting ourselves over every day spent relaxing, every restful moment—to point B—giving zero fucks and doing what comes naturally.
In the end, we agreed that it will take time, patience, and a whole lot of practice. BUt we will be there to cheer one another on every. single. time. either of us takes a breath and doesn’t feel guilty about it. Or every time we feel guilty, but take a breath for ourselves anyway. We are there to help one another reinforce those new, healthy, sustainable neural pathways, baby.
So, if you are someone who, like us, feels guilty for enjoying life, letting the to-do list slide for a day, not being productive 24/7, know that you aren’t alone. We are here cheering you on, reminding you that it’s ok to come up for air and to not always be doing all the things. Remember that to-do lists focused solely on productivity are inherently capitalist, but you are worthy just as you are, regardless of what you got done today.
Health & Chronic Pain
I’ve been dealing with an increase in my chronic pain and feeling sick to my stomach lately. I believe that my current diet is the culprit (not diet as in dieting, but diet as in the current food I eat on the reg) and I am slowly working on altering it to see if my symptoms ease.
When my pain was at its worst a year or so ago, I went to countless doctors—seriously, so many doctors. I felt very much like the character Allison from Grace and Frankie, who gets a lot of flak from the other characters (except Bud) that I think is uncalled for. But I will rant about that another time. Anyway, I went to loads of doctors, and, although they couldn’t figure out what was wrong, they did inform me of things I didn’t know about my personal anatomy such as I have nutcracker syndrome (a rare vein compression disorder that occurs when arteries squeeze the left renal vein leading to the kidney) and a torturous colon (which is basically an extra long colon compared to the average person). I was also told I very likely have IBS which, super fun.
The issue is, with so many things happening internally, I have no idea which direction to go in regarding my diet. Whenever I look things up or talk to doctors, I am told conflicting messages. Either I’m told to eat XYZ because it will help my symptoms or admonished saying, “No, no, don't eat XYZ, those are causing your symptoms.” It’s enough to make me feel as if I am running around, chasing my own tail.
So, I’m taking things super slowly and paying extra close attention to how I feel and noting whether my symptoms improve. For now, I’ve decided to cut out dairy entirely. I was really only left with cheese and cream for my coffee, but those have gotten the boot, which is probably for the best because my cholesterol is high, and basically the only thing I can do is cut out sweets and dairy as I already follow every other guideline recommended to lower cholesterol (I don’t eat meat, I’m not a smoker, I hardly drink, etc).
Hopefully cutting out dairy helps a bit with both my pains (it already seems to be doing good for this area) and my cholesterol. If not, it means that I just have a genetic pre-disposition to higher cholesterol which, yay again.
Book Reviews + Business Updates
Untitled Thoughts is continuing its gentle ease out of sewing and into the world of books. With it, the team here—i.e. me—is slowly expanding (yay! More book-loving people!) and with it, we are adding fun things to the site, such as book reviews!
of will be leading the charge with book reviews. She has a great eye for stories, a witty style that is pleasurable to read, and doesn’t hold back on giving you the truth of a story. I’ve already added more books to my TBR based on her insights and am taking notes should the day ever come that I am brave enough to write reviews for the books I read as well.For her first review, Maria dives in to The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang, a refreshing contemporary romance following a woman with ASD as she struggles to figure out how to become someone worthy of love.
I hope you enjoy this first review, and I look forward to sharing more of Maria’s thoughts every Thursday with you. 💛
As for the other things happening behind-the-scenes, things are moving along slowly but at a steady(ish) pace. I’ve gone ahead and created my own author website and have been psyching myself up to write blog posts for both it and Untitled Thoughts.
My Pinterest has also been given a bit of a revamp and new things will be added to it in the coming weeks. In the meantime, I am working on updating the About page of Untitled Thoughts to better reflect all of these little changes. It’s a lot of tedious work, but I have enjoyed seeing the trickle of progress as the days pass me by while I balance my productivity with the other important aspects of my life. I’m happy to report the productivity monster has been relatively calm as I figure things out.
Novel News
I have officially sent out all 74 of the current pre-orders! It took many weeks of work, but I did it, and I am so excited to see each and every one of them arrive at their new homes, ready to be cracked open and devoured. I’ve also thoroughly enjoyed getting texts and DMs from those who have already begun reading with their thoughts, exclamations, joy, and frustrations at the characters. It is just so love to see Emiliana’s story through fresh eyes.
If you haven’t pre-ordered a copy (there are seconds/ imperfect copies for 10-20% off), there is still time to do so and receive the pre-order gifts of tea, a signed copy, & special packaging. 💛 And if you can’t order now, but still want to support my novel in some way, you can do so by:
Requesting a copy at your local library (simply Google the name of your library + “purchase request” or “suggest a purchase”, and fill out the accompanying form from your library’s website)
Ask that your local bookstore carry A Daisy in Lily’s Valley (they can email me at wholesale@untitledthoughts.com if interested)
Add ADILV to your Goodreads or Storygraph bookshelf
Share the book on Instagram, Pinterest, TikTok or wherever you currently like to hang out
And if you’d received a copy for yourself and wish to support me further, you can do so by leaving an honest review on Goodreads or Storygraph. Good or bad, this helps others decide if A Daisy in Lily’s Valley is the right read for them!
And as always, thank you thank you thank you all so much for every bit of encouragement you have given me here. I seriously could not have gotten this far without every kind word, shared story, thoughtful DM, and supportive text!
*PS— I sent a complimentary copy to the Library of Congress for cataloging which makes everything feel so official. My words . . . in the Library of freaking Congress?!
Summer Book Boxes
It may seem early, but I am currently working on gathering everything together for the next season’s bookish boxes. I am seeking out lighthearted titles, scouring for mugs and teacups, sewing bookmarks, and eyeing other summer goodies to pack into this next round of limited boxes. And I’d love to hear what you wish to see in them! What have your favorite summer reads been (any genre)? Is there anything special that would delight you if you were to receive it in the form of a bookish gift? Let me know in the comments or by replying to this email. I really want to hear from you all.
Final Weekly Excerpt
This is the final weekly excerpt I plan on be sharing for ADILV as all current pre-orders have been shipped out (yay!). There is still time left to pre-order and get those extra gifts, but as publication day draws nearer, I am turning my attention towards preparing for that. Thank you all so much for joining me these past few months and getting a glimpse inside my book and Emiliana’s story. I really hope you enjoyed falling into her world a bit.
Thanks for being here, dear reader,
Brittani
A portion of March’s paid subscriptions + website purchases will be donated to Atlanta Community Food Bank.
|| Instagram||
|| YouTube ||
|| Website ||
|| Email : brittani@untitledthoughts.com ||